


Remembering Sunday

by BlodkruWrites



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Songfic, no happy ending, the one where they weren't together but one gets their heart broken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlodkruWrites/pseuds/BlodkruWrites
Summary: They were never together. Never a couple. Never anything more than friends. They were just them. So then why does he feel like his heart has been carved out? Why is he finding himself drinking yet another bottle and thinking of only her?-------------------------------------Based on Remembering Sunday by All Time Low.





	Remembering Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting in my WIP folder for months. I decided to finally bust out and ending and post it before I could second guess myself. I highly suggest listening to the All Time Low song this is based on. Just gives better vibes.   
> Italics are the past, normal is the present.

_ “All I’m saying is, don’t fall in love with me Blake.” Clarke holds her hands up in mock surrender. _

_ Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Oh sure. Because you’re just that irresistible, Princess.” Clarke is sitting at the bar while Bellamy stands behind the bar’s counter. The bar Bellamy owns, actually. It’s where they met weeks ago when Octavia finally decided to introduce her ‘ _ hot blonde best friend’ _ to her ‘ _ sometimes an asshole brother’ _. “I think I should cut you off if you’re that in your head.”  _

_ Clarke laughs and takes her drink before he can snatch it back. “I’m just warning you. I’m done with all this love stuff. Don’t believe in it anymore. So don’t say I didn’t warn you.” _

_ “Yeah okay sure. I won’t fall in love with you. I’ll even pinky promise if you need that.” He jokingly held out his pinky finger. Clarke hesitated. He was treating this like a joke when he didn’t know how serious she was.  _

_ She hooked her finger with his.  _

* * *

He’s been standing outside her house for hours. It’s insane, completely creepy, he knows. But he can’t help but feel the need and urge to just  _ wait _ and see if she does end up showing. With each tick by on his watch, his heart sinks. Maybe it’s the alcohol sitting in his stomach; it finally hit his nerves. He’s been drinking almost non stop since Clarke refused to answer his calls and texts. It’s been a week and no word. Not even a quick text to tell him she was alive.

Bellamy really doesn’t know why he’s feeling like this. They didn't know each other that long, right? Nine months isn’t that long to know someone, right? He has to rationalize why he feels like his heart is slowly being clipped from his chest. He sags in the front seat of his Jeep. She won’t even answer her phone. No calls or texts back. 

Clarke Griffin came into his life like a whirlwind. A beautiful smile and daring eyes to match. Her attitude alone was enough to make him interested in her. Not like  _ that _ . No of course not. Bellamy Blake wasn’t one to even like someone romantically let alone fall in love. Never. Of course not. But Clarke was interesting and stubborn and honestly a little bit of brat but he just couldn’t keep himself away. Maybe that was why Octavia introduced them. She probably thought Clarke would be good for her brother if not annoy him a little. Which she did. Never enough for him to not want her around. 

And now she’s just up and disappeared without even a note. Bellamy needs to know why she left and why she’s ignoring him so much. He’s called Octavia multiple times but she’s just as confused as he is. He’s tried Jasper, Monty, Harper, and even Wells. Wells was the only one who had hesitated when he called. It left an uneasy feeling; he knew something and wasn’t telling Bellamy. 

“Wells if you know something, you gotta tell me.” He had pleaded. 

He could feel his hesitance. “I don’t know where she is. Not really. I’m sorry man, I can’t tell you.” 

Wells had hung up before he could get anymore out of him. No one could tell him where Clarke was. Except…

Bellamy started his car and put it into drive. There was one person who had to know. 

* * *

  
  


_ “Bellamy stop! You’re gonna let the eggs burn!” Clarke shrieked as he grabbed at her sides. Bellamy  _ knew _ how ticklish she was; he would do nearly anything to get her to laugh like this.  _

_ “C’mon Princess, not like we’re gonna eat them anyways.” He tugs on her hand and she lets herself be dragged close to him. Dangerously close. “We can do other things instead.” It’s a joke, they both know it. Their endless flirting and joking around was just how they were. Everyone knew that. Even Octavia tolerated it- though sometimes she would fake gag at them. Bellamy would tell her she shouldn’t have introduced them if she didn’t want this to happen. They were just friends anyhow. They were comfortable. _

_ As comfortable as Clarke let them be. _

_ She looks up at him with those glassy eyes that he can lose himself in. Very, dangerously close. He can visibly see her retracting and pulling back, tugging on his hand with a small smirk. “Funny. We both know that’s the last thing we’re gonna do.”  _

* * *

  
  


“Raven I know you’re awake. Open the damn door.” He pounded on the door once more. The alcohol has definitely taken affect and he’s surprised he hasn’t been pulled over for swerving.

The lights to the apartment were on and he knew the engineer would not be asleep at this time. It was only one in the morning after all. Just as Bellamy was about to knock once more, the door swung open. A disheveled and pissed off brunette met him.

“What the hell, Bellamy?” She had her hair barely in a ponytail and wore pajamas. The brace she usually kept hidden was snug on her leg. For a moment, Bellamy felt bad. Maybe she had been sleeping after all. “Well?” She looked like she was ready to slam the door in his face.

Bellamy shook his head. “Where is Clarke? She hasn’t been answering my calls and I went by her place and it was empty. It’s like she disappeared.” Raven stood still for a moment. A look came over her face that he couldn’t quite describe. A second later she moved to shut the door as quickly as she could. Bellamy stopped it with his foot. “Raven what are you hiding? Is Clarke here?” He held the door open from her feeble attempts.

“Bellamy if she didn’t tell you then it’s for the best.” She pushed on the door again. “Move your damn foot!” He didn’t. Both were too stubborn to give up. After what felt like an hour, a noise from inside Raven’s apartment broke them apart.

“What,” came a sleep filled voice, “the hell is going on?” Bellamy let his foot slip at that moment. Maybe he should have done this in the morning. Well, it was morning technically. The door slammed shut under Raven’s weight; she yelped as she slipped with the door. There was a clattering sound then silence. Quickly followed by hushed voices. Bellamy wasn’t sure if he should leave or wait to see if he was ever going to be allowed in. The choice was made for him when the door opened. A very, very annoyed and exhausted Miles Ezekiel Shaw stood on the other side. Bellamy didn’t know the man well but from what he did, well he definitely didn’t like being on the receiving end of that look. Ex-Fighter Pilot and all that. “What are you doing here, Blake?”

Well at least he wasn’t getting shot at. “I’m just looking for Clarke. She wasn’t home and Raven knows something.” He tried to explain carefully. Coming here at one a.m. definitely was not his best idea. Shaw seemed to agree as he rubbed his hand over his face.

He turned to Raven who leaned against the wall next to the door. “You didn’t tell him, did you?” Bellamy didn’t see or hear her reaction. But from Shaw’s own, it wasn’t good. The man sighed and opened the door wider, signaling for Bellamy to enter.

"What didn't she tell me?" Bellamy was more than aware he had no right to be demanding anything right then. But he needed to know. Especially since Raven seemed keen on keeping whatever it was from him.

Shaw crossed his arms and motioned with his hand for Raven to explain. The brunette mimicked him and kept her mouth shut. The man sighed and looked at Bellamy. "Clarke left yesterday morning. She got that full ride to Polis Art and left." Bellamy stalled for a second. 

* * *

_ Clarke’s reserved the next time he sees her. There’s the slightest hint of sadness in her eyes, in her turned down mouth. Bellamy looks at her for a moment too long and she sees him. “Hey.” The smile doesn’t quite meet her eyes.  _

_ “Hey.” He sits next to her. Their at his place, surrounded by their friends, celebrating Miller and Jackson’s engagement. Well, almost everyone is celebrating. Clarke has been sitting in the same spot for a half hour with the same drink her hand. She isn’t talking to anyone like she normally does. Only answering when someone directly talks to her. Bellamy was worried the second he noticed. “I’m happy for Miller. He finally found the guy who can rangle him in.” He nudges her slightly. _

_ Clarke nudges back and again the small smile. “I’m glad. We have enough troublemakers with you and Murphy alone.”  _

_ “Wow, Princess. You dare insult me in my own home while drinking my alcohol?” He shook his head in mock disbelief.  _

_ “Oh stop being a baby. You know I’d never actually insult you.”  _

_ Bellamy leans back against the couch and smiles. “Yeah, like you didn’t call me ‘asshole’ the first six months we knew each other.”  _

_ Clarke leans back too and turns to look at him. “Well yeah, you were and still kinda are one.” Again, he fakes his horror and disbelief. They settle into a comfortable silence with each staring at the other. Clarke’s smile finally warms a little and Bellamy tries not to be in awe of it. He reaches out and carefully tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. When his hand doesn’t move from her face, Clarke stops breathing. He cups her cheek. She doesn’t move. He can see her jaw clench and moves his hand away. It’s the briefest of touches and moments and honestly nothing happened. But he can see it in her eyes and the way she moves away. Bellamy’s crossed some line. Clarke takes a shaky breath. “You promised” is all she says before getting up and excusing herself.   
_

* * *

Clarke hadn't mentioned anything about a scholarship let alone going to school. An art school of all things. Any time the two of them had said anything about school or careers, Clarke said she would probably become a doctor like her mother. He had seen some of her art before. Portraits mainly. They were so life-like he had been shocked to say the least. Especially when he saw what she had drawn of him. She had taken his compliments and assistance of her talents with a small shrug.  _ It’s just a hobby _ , she had said. But she had never said anything about pursuing it professionally.

Now that he thinks about it, there was probably a lot she didn’t tell him. He should have known that when she abruptly left the party last week. 

"She left. After the party, didn’t she?." He breathed out. The way Raven refused to meet his eyes only confirmed it for him. "Why-," he shook his head, "why wouldn't she say something? Tell everyone else? Tell me?" He looked between the other two as if they held any answers. 

“She-,” Raven sighed and stared at the ceiling. The last thing she wanted was to tell her friend this. “Bell, she was scared. Of a lot of things. I know you guys were close but there was a lot going on she didn’t tell you. Things she definitely should have.” 

“Like what?” He knows he’s demanding answers from the wrong person. He should be doing anything he can to find Clarke and get answers from her. But the sinking feeling in his gut he gets when Raven meets his eyes has him worried. 

“Did you know her dad died?” Raven says. Her voice is soft, almost like she’s speaking to an upset child. The question smacks Bellamy in the chest. The only answer he can give is a slow head shake. Clarke had never mentioned her dad’s passing. Never said he was sick or in an accident not even once. She knew about his mother; why wouldn’t she tell him about her dad? “He died four months ago, Bellamy. That week long vacation she said she was going on back in June was for the funeral. She stayed in Arkadia and grieved. When she got back,” Raven shrugged, “it was like nothing happened.” Four  _ months _ ? Bellamy was reeling. 

He remembers the week she was gone. Octavia was worried because Clarke never went away that long especially not back to Arkadia. Bellamy had spent the week assuring his sister Clarke was fine and probably just missed her parents or something. Even though they hadn’t been great friends then, he even sent a text to Clarke to see if she was okay himself. She had answered almost immediately with a thumb up emoji and saying Octavia was overreacting. 

Clarke hadn’t mentioned anything relating to her dad in weeks. It made sense now but he had just assumed they weren’t talking as much.

“What,” He cleared his throat, “what else hasn’t she told me?” Raven gave him a pitying look. She could see him slowly unravel in front of her. 

“Bellamy you know none of this is my place to say. I’m sure once Clarke clears her head and figures out how wrong she is for not saying anything, she’ll call.” But the warning look she gave Shaw was enough for Bellamy to know she wasn’t sure. She probably was just as unsure as he was. But at the very least she knew Clarke had left and  _ why _ she did. 

He ran a hand over his face. “That’s why Wells wouldn’t talk to me. He’s her best friend.” 

“Don’t be mad at him for it. We both know if Clarke had asked you to keep that secret, you would have.” He nodded. He would do just about anything she asked of him. But she  _ didn’ _ t ask him. She couldn’t even face up to him days before she left. Bellamy ran a hand through his hair and nodded again.

“Yeah. I get it.” He clenched his jaw as he tried to swallow down what he was feeling. “Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry for waking you up.” He made his way to the door. Raven tried to reach out and think of what to say to him. But there wasn’t anything to say. 

“Bellamy you reek of alcohol, you can’t drive home.” Shaw jogged after him and stopped him from going to his jeep.

Bellamy stopped and looked pointedly at him. “Take my damn keys then.” He handed over said item and walked around Shaw. 

“Bellamy where are you going?” Raven still stood in the doorway, worried. “You can’t walk home, it’s almost 2 am and you live on the other side of town.” 

“Not going home.” Was all he said before walking down the pavement. 

* * *

_ “Hey Clarke, me again. Y’know the asshole you keep leaving on read?” It’s his third voicemail to her. It’s all he seems to be getting now. It’s been two days since the engagement party and two days since he’s seen Clarke. He’s asked Octavia to check up on her; she only reported back that Clarke looked busy and there were a few boxes strewn throughout her apartment. That only worried him more. “Please call me back. I don’t know what I did for you to ignore me but I’d really like to talk and apologize for it.” He hung up and groaned. Why was she ignoring him so much? He could see she had at least read his messages. The little blue checkmark confirmed that much. She was purposely ignoring him.  _

_ For some reason, he can’t bring himself to go to her apartment. The terror he feels will only be confirmed if he sees it. She’ll get back to him, eventually. Right? _

_ For now, he occupies himself with a bottle of rum that sits too perfectly on his kitchen counter. _

* * *

Clarke does get back to him. 

Weeks later.

Bellamy has spent nearly the last month in a slump. He feels like he’s been broken up with but that’s impossible. They were never together. Never a couple. They were just  _ them _ . So why did it feel like his heart had slowly been carved out? He hadn’t even felt this bad when Gina broke up with him; he knew he had loved Gina. That didn’t hurt as much as this did. He needs to get over himself. He shouldn’t be this beaten up over someone he was never with and never wanted to be with him. It’s why he made that stupid promise.

Only now does he realize what she meant at the party. He had stupidly promised to never fall in love with her thinking it would never happen. But by then he was already falling, just didn’t know it yet. He came crashing down when she left. He was no longer falling in love; he was in love. And now he was heartbroken. 

When Clarke finally did answer all his messages, it only made the hurt worse. 

_ I’m sorry _ , her message had read. She couldn’t even call. She only typed out a few sentences like they were suppose to knit his heart back together.  _ I’m sorry Bellamy. I really am. But I couldn’t tell you everything. You would have only wanted to help fix things because you’re not an asshole. You’re an amazing person and I knew this would end badly. But you were just so good and someone I needed. You’re an amazing friend, my best friend. I wish I could explain everything but I can’t. I’m not coming back. I know what I’ve done is terrible. If you never want to speak to me again I understand.  _

But she didn’t understand. All Bellamy wanted was her back. He wanted to look her in the eyes and demand to know what made her think this was going to help anything? She left her friends, Octavia,  _ him _ . She only said something to Wells and Raven and never answered anyone else. And now this message was suppose to fix things? She said she would understand. He didn’t need her to understand what she did was bad. Or how she could have talked about her dad with him, how she could depend on him.

He needed her to understand that he needed her. That he would forgive her in a heartbeat if she would just come back and talk to him. 

But she wouldn’t. Wasn’t.   



End file.
